Got Ex Back and ENGAGED, 10/06/2015

“I’m engaged!  Back in November my EUM and I had a bad break up, things were out of control. We have a 1 yr old daughter. I had been out of work for a year. I was needy, codependent with way too much masculine energy and inevitably drove him away.

My mother Kathy who has been an active client of Katarina Phang for some time now introduced me to Kat and I purchased the her book and my life began to change.

I learned to let things go not to dwell to lure with honey instead of vinegar. I started taking care of myself focusing on myself began accepting things as they are, no expectations.

My EUM noticed changes as I surrendered to the situation and we began dating again. We now have a house together with both our names on it and a brand new relationship.

I can’t express my gratitude enough to Katarina Phang for showing me how to turn my life and my relationship around for the better, my EUM and I don’t need each other we simply want each other.

Because of Kat’s teachings I’ve learned to go with the flow and embrace each day with a clear slate and open mind.

Without Kat I’d be one bitter irresponsible bitch and because of Kat I’m chilled, go with the flow, got my man back and haven’t gotten in one single fight since we’ve been back together and now my family and I are moving into a house with both our names on it.

Thank you Kat for sharing your wisdom and making it possible. My life is so different my relationship is brand new its easy and its because of you sharing your wisdom with women like me.

I got my family back. A new beginning and when I feel myself slipping into old ways I resort to Kat’s book “He’s Really That Into You, He’s Just Not Ready” my second Bible lol This is my story and I couldn’t be more happy!” ~Mary, Pennsylvania 

 

ENGAGED, as shared on 10/03/2015

“My man proposed to me last night. Thank you, Katarina​, it’s ALL because of you. Will post a detailed one tomorrow!  I’ve not said anything because I’m so worried he’ll take the ring back because I’ve been leaning forward so much today! Haha. But will behave myself from tomorrow.

It was so unexpected. I kept saying “really?,” “I’ll be really mad if this is a prank,” “why do you want to marry me?”  “Is this like a real diamond?”  I’m *still* totally zapped and haven’t processed it.

THAT’S how amazing you are. I went through a million useless books on how I need to be assertive and value myself and not put up with his shit blah blah and it ONLY pushed him away further and further. Thank god I found you. He put a ring on that finger in exactly 6 weeks of me finding you.

I just read your book and the class on softening boundaries and becoming non reactive. It was really really bad pre-you.

He’s from a political dynasty, too, so being alpha the only way he knows to be. He doesn’t hunt or fish, though. He has a super sensitive side to him and is doesn’t eat meat because he doesn’t want to be cruel to animals. Lol. He’s not alpha in that obvious sense. He likes to paint and loves art and is very soft. Just his energy is very, very alpha.

We were constantly fighting before I found Kat. Is it bad to be submissive? Because he kind of likes that in me. He hates it when I’m aggressive.“ ~ Anya, India

 

ENGAGED, as shared on 9/27/2015

If Jennifer is # 27 Katarina, I guess that makes me #28. My guy, David and I, had been making some plans for a trip in October back to my home town. Well, he had made some surprise changes that he hadn’t told me about.

Tonight I told him I was taking care of the things that I needed to do for those trip plans and then he tried to step all around it to tell me not to do that and yet not tell me his plans, but then he finally laughed and said he couldn’t even keep one secret from me.
He told me that he had planned to propose last week but the ring he is having made for me is not done yet, so he wasn’t able to. He has already started making plans for us to get married on the beach in our home town.

I had told him this is what I wanted a month or so ago when he asked, in what I thought was passing. He asked so lightly and off the cuff, so I told him that if I were to ever marry again, that I would like to get married in a small, intimate, very casual, beach, barefoot with traditional vows ceremony in our home town.

I would have never guessed that he was taking notes and planning….with his mother and her best friend no less! He talked to my 17 year old daughter tonight and asked for her permission, which she quickly gave. So we will know Wednesday of this week if the pastor can marry us on the 21st or 22nd of October!

I may not even have pictures of my ring to post prior to the wedding as due to my fathers failing health, he said he wanted to honor me and do everything possible to have both of my parents be able to be there. Thus, the October dates.

He is going to ask my parents permission next week! EEEKKK, that’s 3 weeks from now! Meanwhile, my ring may or may not be done by the date we have chosen and quite honestly ladies, I am not bothered by that at all. This feels so good and right.

David asked me tonight if he could wear his fathers wedding ring (to his mom) as his wedding ring. His dad passed away a little over a year ago from ALS. His dad loved his mom so very much they truly had a great love and he said he feels like our love is like the love they had/have.

His mom is thrilled with the idea of him wearing his dad’s ring and I know with the commitment level that this ring has already stood for, that it is also a representation of the great power of love. While I had hoped if I ever did this again that I would be able to pick a unique ring out, I am now equally thrilled at this prospect and love the idea of being able to honor his dad this way.

This man, David, is not the EUM that brought me to this group. He is the man that the experience with my EUM, led me to find in my life after I found this group. He is the man that has shown me what it is truly like to be and feel completely cherished and loved.

He is the man that has shown me everything that I always wanted to see from my EUM YET he did it all without me trying, without me over-investing myself and without my expectation of anything at all. It was once I stopped looking for my EUM to come back and started focusing on just bringing in my own bliss, bringing the feeling of the love of life back into my own life…..letting go of feeling like I needed a man, effortlessly enjoying the now, focusing only on living my life FULLY and OUT LOUD, with my heart WIDE OPEN to just experience whatever would come my way that this man showed up and he showed up in a BIG way.

It’s truly that simple….give up what you are holding on to, knowing it will only become what it should be on its own or it will make way for something better. Allow the journey to whatever that is to be a gift and it will happen just like a bolt of lightning.

Some of you may also recall my posts about a LDR. I’m here to tell you, with the right man, they can and do work! This is living proof.”” ~Robin, Indianapolis

 

ENGAGED on 9/27/2015

Well… I came to Kat a year and a half ago full of anxiety. Six months ago my anxiety ruled me and I knew I was the only one who could change it. So kicking and screaming and many classes later, ( and several bitch slaps from some lovely ladies here) I started a rotation. Six months later, leaned back me has had her EUM begging for a second chance and then this weekend… I have been proposed to- not by my EUM but by an EA guy I put into my rotation when I finally stopped undervaluing myself.” ~Jennifer, New York

GET EX BACK in JUST 3 WEEKS, 9/22/2015

“Today my boyfriend picked me up at my office and drove me home as usual. When we were about to arrive at my house he said “It’s hard every time we almost reach your home.” I asked “Why?” He said “Because I’m gonna miss you again. The only solution is that we get married.” I’m just amazed… Ladies, it’s true that what Kat teaches in her book can have such an impact on a man.

Kat he is why I found you. I had pushed him away before due to my reactiveness, expectations and masculine energy. I didn’t give him any chance to be the leader. I broke up with him before I found you. Thanks to you now the tables are turned. So yeah this is my get-ex-back story :p.

I think it’s within a week for him to step up and then about 1 month later he reclaimed me.

I just read your book, and then listened to some of the teleclasses provided along with the book and the Goddess Interview on Kristie. Your book has helped me a lot especially in understanding men as well as the concept of leaning back. I love the goddess interview from which I learned the importance of being less emotionally invested than the guy is. They are really great and totally worth it..!” ~Vera, Indonesia

 

ENGAGED on 8/6/2014,  Married on 9/20/2015.

Today my boyfriend picked me up at my office and drove me home as usual. When we were about to arrive at my house he said “It’s hard every time we almost reach your home.” I asked “Why?” He said “Because I’m gonna miss you again. The only solution is that we get married.” I’m just amazed… Ladies, it’s true that what Kat teaches in her book can have such an impact on a man.

Kat he is why I found you. I had pushed him away before due to my reactiveness, expectations and masculine energy. I didn’t give him any chance to be the leader. I broke up with him before I found you. Thanks to you now the tables are turned. So yeah this is my get-ex-back story :p.

I think it’s within a week for him to step up and then about 1 month later he reclaimed me.

I just read your book, and then listened to some of the teleclasses provided along with the book and the Goddess Interview on Kristie. Your book has helped me a lot especially in understanding men as well as the concept of leaning back. I love the goddess interview from which I learned the importance of being less emotionally invested than the guy is. They are really great and totally worth it..!” ~Vera, Indonesia

ENGAGED On Valentine’s, 2/14/2015, MARRIED on Sept 18, 2015

“He gave me a preserved rose because he never got me flowers before lol. Then mentioned there was something written on the petal. He had them inscribe “will you marry me?” on it. When I turned around he was down on one knee with the ring out. <3 <3

I came here last March after a very long and hard breakup with my ex. My self esteem was basically zero and I reeked of masculine energy. He had cheated on me and yet I wanted him back. I realized that was not healthy and couldn’t allow myself to lose myself one more time. I found you in April, joined the group, got Journey Inward and started the healing process. I did online dating and that’s where I met my fiancé . Since then I have been in the best relationship of my life, but I realize I wouldn’t be this happy if it wasn’t for the inner work I did. I learned to love myself and put my own needs first. I am full and happy and with zero anxiety. My fiancé is such an emotionally available guy! I think back to how it was before when I used to take crumbs from my ex and cannot believe I used to settle for less. A lot has changed in less than a year!

Thank you Kat! I wouldn’t be with such a great guy now if it hadn’t been for your teachings. Most importantly you helped me find myself, and I am so thankful for that.” ~Giselle, Connecticut

Engaged!!, 9/4/2015

“Yes, I am engaged! Not to my EUM, but to another man who is exceptional to me. I am so in love and so happy. The key was leaning back and confidence. The ring is perfect and so is the boy.

He is a MMA fighter and brings me flowers WEEKLY. He is so cute and beyond kind. By the way, this engagement just happened a few hours ago. I was going to tell you ladies tonight! 

We were supposed to meet a year ago, but he and I were not in the right head space. I posted this photo on Instagram when I was sick and he contacted me again. I had pneumonia at the time and I couldn’t get out of bed. He offered to bring me soup and I said no. When I was feeling better, we went for a walk on the pier by my house. (I live at the beach). It was our first “date.”

We spent hours just talking. He kissed me at my car and from that moment on, I knew he was hooked. I kept my rotation going but Daniel made it known he wanted to claim me. I kept being the goddess that I am (well have learned to be thanks to Kat and you ladies).

He has brought me flowers every single week, without fail to my office. He treats me like I am precious. I just went through two major surgeries last week and he waited in the waiting room for 4 hours, and I didn’t know he was. He wanted to stay in my room with me. Long story short, he has been exceptional to me.

Today he told me that we were going on a drive. He took me to Santa Cruz (a Northern California beach town 4 hours away) because he wanted to show me the light house that he and his mother loved to go to. (Today is the anniversary of his father’s suicide, and a really hard day for him.) I thought we were going just to get me out of the house for a bit.

Well, he started saying a bunch of sweet things to me and I totally didn’t understand he was proposing to me. Then he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I just kept saying “are you serious?! Are you serious?!”

And crying.

I had NO idea there was a cameraman a few feet away filming me. As an actress you think that I would have seen that! LOL. Anyway, he was crying and I was crying and it was wonderful. He is the best man I have ever met. It may be fast, but he is the one I deserve and have waited for.

And he has amazing taste in rings! I can’t get a great picture of the ring, but it is a one carat center stone, in a platinum halo setting. The stone is flawless! It sparkles so very much. I cannot believe this happened! Listen to Kat. She knows her stuff. Also, do the inner work. Trust me.” ~Angela, Los Angeles

 

Engaged!!, 8/17/2015

He asked me to marry him while we were on vacation. smile emoticon Kat, I owe you SO much. I never thought I would marry again at this stage of my life.

He had asked my 14 year old son if he could and planned it while we were on vacation. I’m honored he put the young man in my life as part of it.

I promise the only way I got here us by fully following Kat’s advice. Letting go of my own thinking and just doing what the hell she says. If she says let go then do it. If she says no expectations then have none. It makes a huge difference. Let him lead. And care less than he does.

I used to go through tragedies strong but I had resentment anger and bitterness. Poor little why me syndrome. Truth is we all have shit to deal with and how you go through it shows your character.

Never cling to a man. Let the right man choose you. Even if you’re in love, if it ain’t working it ain’t gonna get better. You can’t do anything about that. Just let go and let the universe be in charge.

Kat, I fully support all you teach. I have been here a while and do think my greatest quality in being here is being receptive… I fully realize whatever I’ve done in the past wasn’t working…. So I needed to do something else. I tend to be a coddler and don’t like the harshness personally but I know women need it. Every time I hear the harsh words it makes me think. I had to hear harshness to get over my own expectations. I thought I didn’t have any but was triggered by the hard words about expectations. Turns out I had a lot of expectations and changing them has made ALL the difference… I thank you for that Katarina. I followed other coach’s advice on using feeling messages and found myself at the same place many were before finding you. It sounded good but didn’t work.

I’ve got to say with my recent engagement, if you follow Kat and trust her ways, it works like nothing else. I’m blessed to be here.
If you’re strong in yourself and believe in positive outcomes…. Live with no fear of anything, even bad situations…… Accept or reject. These are profound life principles.

The other thing is many of us are DEEP into codependency… I was, for one. Supporting dysfunction and coddling those who are doing wrong is the definition of codependency. I am no longer codependent thanks to my time here. And when someone asks me how I stopped being codependent, I tell them about Kat….

I think there are really profound things that are deep in Kat’s teachings that are very zen. More than just the rotation and leaning back stuff. Other coaches do that. But the idea of having NO expectations is genius. It’s the key to being happy in the moment. Not enough talk goes into that cause it’s hard to do. But it IS the key to finding happiness with the moment. Softening boundaries is also genius. Let the man step up who wants you. Fully let go of all control and let life happen as its meant to be…. Profound joy and happiness at the core.” ~Laura, Texas

 

Engaged!!, 8/3/2015, MARRIED on 10/4/2015

“I got engaged today to the man of my dreams. I am so happy. He took me to the wetlands near our house and told me I made his life better than it has ever been. He wants to spend the rest of his life with me!   Thank you ladies for all your amazing advice. I let go of the wishy washy ex boyfriend and I finally found real happiness!!!

The best part is that I actually knew him back in 2009. We went to church together.  We even went to a camp together.  His close friends are my close friends.  We just never got to know each other. We never made it to the same parties.  We met on eharmony as a match last November.  When we met for our first meet to talk we figured it all out.  He was ready to claim me that day, but we took it slow.

Thank you Katarina Phang for your teachings.  

I bought your book last February 2014 sometime. We spoke and I let my wishy washy ex go finally last October.” ~Katie, Las Vegas

 

Married, July 25, 2015!!

“Katarina Phang can add another engagement/wedding to her growing list!

On July 25, I am getting married in Vegas to my boyfriend that I have been with since Christmas 2013. In March 2014, he moved me to Denver from SoCal to live with him.

I pined over a guy for years so will always be EUM to any woman – he even told me once.

After another round of a big fight, I thought this was ridiculous and I needed to walk away from this once and for all for both our sakes.
The VERY next day, a very good mutual friend of both of ours came to town for the holidays (we all went to high school together, now 45 yo).

I was very good friends with Michael for years. We would talk on the phone and share our ups and downs of life. We’ve shared tears, yes he cried to me many a times. When he would come to town for visits, he usually stayed with me or as a home base as we would go about town visiting friends. Often dragging me around with him. Half was into the trip, he pronounced he was falling in love with me. He asked my mom for her help to win me over told he loved me and wanted to take care of me. She adores him.

I could sense some growing interest on my part as well but was very hesitant. Fear of so many thoughts was stopping me. So I let go of the fear and dove in. He left town to return to Denver, we talked everyday, met in Vegas for his birthday weekend in January. The month of February, I stayed with him for most of the month in Denver. Returned home, packed all my stuff and then moved to Denver March 25.

It hasn’t all been easy. There were some serious struggles. Times I thought I wanted to leave him. I learned that is the easy way out. To take a look inside myself and what I needed to learn about me, him, and us. I’ve learned to soften and open my heart wider. In return, so does his.

One night a few months ago, he was agitated at me and nitpicking me. I was about to start returning which could have turned into a fight – albeit, they are quickly forgotten. I just started breathing deeply with loving thoughts and love to him. Next thing, he reached out, took my hand, leaned in and kissed me and said I Love You. Wow! So powerful are our thoughts!!! Course, flashing my boobs always ends a fight too.

Love is a choice. Love is a decision. Decide to love. Grow in love. Love can be work. Both have to be willing participants.”

Shared 1/14/2014, CLAIMED!

“Michael made this comment on Facebook the other day

“That woman, Paula is something I’ve never experienced!! Best girl ever!”

While we have known each other 30 years and growing friendship to be best friends the last 5 or 6, I never considered him romantically. I think he may have considered me for a little fun though. 

I truly believe that is due largely to Katarina Phang and her guidance and teachings along with all the amazing woman (and few men) in this group that guided me to change to the best girl ever!!!

Thank you everyone for your support, advice and guidance, not to mention putting up with and reading all my never-ending posts!!

Much love and peace to you all!

Graciously,
Paula, Newport Beach”

Get Husband Back 2 Weeks After Implementing What I Teach, 6/28/2015

“Thanks Kat!! My hubby is back to me and wants to be with me for the rest of his life… It’s not really easy to lean back all the time but.. We’re at Powell River, BC in vacation at this moment and had “es ee ex..” After so long..

I started my journey with Kat not long ago when I found a sexy pic of a woman in his iPhone, confronted him, he said she supported him while I was not around. He even thought to have a family with her but she said he’s too old for her. For me it’s an “Emotional Affair”, so cheating. We fought last week.

I decided to divorce though still loved him. I leaned back for almost a week when he asked to go out for dinner, I said ” No, Thanks”. We didn’t really talk to each other but were just polite, saying “thanks” or “please” or “Hi” and “bye.” I was wondering if he would ever approach me again or is this really the end?”” ~Rani, Indonesia

Get Husband Back, 6/10/2015

“My husband came back two weeks ago. Dear Katarina Phang, he is back because I was being feminine, because I smiled to him now. Because I stop complaining and actually lived the moment.This is the very same man who told me he didn’t love me anymore and we were done.I just stopped being reactive and started being positive, happy and busy. He likes that in me..When I found you, he was with this other woman. He always said she was special, and I think that woman was doing what you are preaching to us, that’s why I want to learn everything from you because you are exactly like her. He couldn’t resist her.And true enough when I do what u teach, he is confused. He accepted me back and she’s no longer in the picture.” ~Hailey, Vietnam

Get Husband Back, 5/29/2015

“Kat, my husband came back last night. Said my energy was different and he realized that he wanted to spend his life with me. It was unexpected and I’m still in a state of disbelief. I didn’t think it would happen so fast. I was really unattached when he was telling me all his feelings and truly just enjoyed the moment. I didn’t say a word and just let him talk. So different than me before. Thanks for everything

My husband left in February. I was doing all the things that Kat teaches us not to. Bothering him for time and sex. Getting upset when he didn’t give me what I wanted, pushing him further away. Something about marriage had triggered all my insecurities and them when my dad passed away last year I seemed to get more demanding. Even when I was not being demanding or bitchy, my energy was all anxious and I was constantly wondering what was “wrong” with him… Etc. The reality was he was working three jobs, saving for his dream.

He had one day off every other week and I was expecting him to spend it with me. He was exhausted and I was draining every bit he had left. So he left. It blind sided me. I’m a pretty open minded person and intuitively didn’t fight his leaving. It was peaceful. I didn’t help him pack, but I also didn’t try and stop him.

The reality of him leaving woke me up. I choose to use that time to dive into myself and figure out why this was happening again. It was a pattern I had from previous relationships where I would get the man I wanted and then after we got into a secure thing, I shifted and pushed them away. In my head, I thought marriage was a guarantee against that. I was wrong. Men will do what they have to when they are not inspired by the woman they are with. Freedom before love.

I found Kat on April 3rd and started reading and re-reading her book. I listened to various audios over and over. The “Leaning Back Workshop” and “How to be a High Value woman” were particularly helpful. I did the meditation from the leaning back series at least a dozen times. I know that repetition is key to change. I have not yet done Journey Inward, but I still plan on it.

Since, finding this my life has changed in so many ways. I discovered how to make myself happy. I quit my job at the hospital and got an offer at a busy tattoo studio as a full time artist. I removed toxic people from my life with no drama. I started wearing more dresses and my friends keep telling me how “good” I look and how more relaxed I feel. My brother came over and made some comment about how “This was the most feminine he had ever seen me.”

All the feedback kept encouraging me that I was on the right path, for me… It no longer was about getting my husband back. I decided in myself that this was the best thing that ever happened to me and regardless I was going to be really solid in my feminine energy from this point forward. And I just let go… Then I started getting hit on.

That never used to happen to me. Even though I was attractive, my energy was damn scary to people. That has changed. Nurses from my work asked for my number. Guys at bars when I was hanging out with my friends or drawing in the corner by myself. I even had two of my long time male friends try to pursue me in the last month.

One just last week, told me he was going to go to my husband and tell him if he didn’t step up, that he was going to start pursuing his wife. I asked him not to or I’m sure he would have! I told him I was not interested in having a relationship.

So long story short… Saw my husband on Monday. Was totally unattached and relaxed. He ended up coming back to our house and staying the night, which he has done about every other week since moving out. I always let him come and go. Never said anything or questioned him or gave him crap about our relationship. A couple times I slipped up and either texted my feelings or went to the place where he lived twice, this was before I had started to embrace what I learned here. He very quickly pulled back and then I wouldn’t hear from him. So I stopped contacting him unless he contacted me.

Usually he would only contact me if he needed something, but I just was nice and let it happen. Part of me felt “used” but I kept letting it go and being sweet about it. So back to this Monday, in the morning he left and then came back like two hours with a gift. He said it was for my new job. Then he called and asked to come over last night to get something and I was busy with a friend so I made him wait.

When he did come over, he grabbed me and asked me if I felt it on Monday. I just looked at him because honestly I didn’t know what he meant. He said he felt connected to me and that he wanted to come home and spend the rest of his life with me. I couldn’t believe it. I just stood there and looked at him and let him talk. I leaned back the whole time and then gave him and big hug. He asked me to put his wedding ring back on.

Today we woke up and he asked me to go to a movie with him and then we are going to dinner at a mutual friends house this evening. I don’t really know what else to say. Right, now I’m sitting in a hot bath, writing this long ass message. Hope this helps someone. All you ladies have sure helped me:)

I feel like it important to note how hard I dove into Kat’s teaching. I’m married and starting dating anyway, just friends, but male friends. I also put her audios in my ears everyday. I would walk around work and listen with one earphone. I stopped initiating physically, but it wasn’t until I stopped initiating energetically that the change happened. Every time I would start to think about my husband I would tell myself to pull back and think about me. I started a journal. Some days were really hard and I couldn’t post here for some reason so I had to dive into myself. I was plagued with fear and guilt, shame. I had to cry alone, talk myself through it. It sucked, yet a necessary part of the transformation.” ~Miranda, Spain

Get Ex Back and ENGAGED On Easter, 4/05/2015

“Hi ladies, on Easter morning my ex boyfriend came to my house with an engagement ring :).  I had met him 3 1/2 years ago.  He had just got divorced after 20 year marriage.  He said he loved me within a first few dates and wanted to be exclusive.  I fell so in love, he was everything I had ever wanted and also what a lot of other women would want too: an alpha male with options who makes good money.

He had grown sons and I was a single mother of one little girl who does not see or know her father.  After three blissful months he pulled back he was confused curious about other women, etc.

Well, I did not take this to well.  It began a long cycle of breaking up making up. He systematically went thru his list of women and then some.  He would get back with me and then be confused 4 days later because he would feel like he was missing out . I was highly reactive and jealous. I went thru his phone if we got back together.  I personalized everything and had a timeline for marriage like crazy.

I was fearful jealous and anxious, yet he was good to me when we would get back together.  He took me and my daughter to Disney helped me get a car fixed things around the house, etc but I wanted more more more and I tried to heavily rely on him for emotional support too.

I ended it in July of this year and swore to really stay away. I actually started dating someone else which is what brought me to Katarina. I ordered the book and read it every morning over coffee.  I make sure I log into the group even when I’m not in the mood reading other stories helps me even when it seems like it wouldn’t pertain to me.

I also joined the Feminine Goddess Enlightened Relationship monthly membership. I want to take Journey Inward but I started getting the point that I am responsible for my happiness and to calm myself and take care of myself with no apologies. I decided to BE the rock of stability I’ve been looking for, for me and my daughter.

I am happier and grateful every day. In the meantime I had a heavy rotation with a few relationships (little ones) thrown in that I’ve posted about. I learned a lot in these months following Katarina and this wonderful group of women and am still learning. And lo and behold on easter morning my ex EUM showed up on one knee with the engagement ring I had wanted:). I said yes and he asked me to not say anything to his family or friends yet which I now am totally fine with. In the past i would have exploded and taken it personal and well you know…now I’m just happy.

And I’m leaning back and letting him work out the knots of telling his family and friends. I am just happy on my pedestal and I don’t have to worry about it.  Me and my daughter will be ok no matter what.  The other night he said that being around me was like a calming mind sanctuary for him. That is the biggest compliment I could ever receive.” ~Priscilla, New York

Finally, ENGAGED!! As shared on 4/22/2015! “It was a complete surprise! I knew he wanted to propose between January and June but I thought he might do it in Florida at the end of the month or on our cruise in May but instead it was just a weekend getaway to the mountains while we were snow shoeing! He asked me to record a song he wanted to sing for me. So he started singing thinking of you by Ed Sheerhan and then changed mid stream to she has diamonds on the inside….then he dropped to one knee with the ring! I was speechless and then just started smothering him with kisses! Then the tree above us rained down snow on us like four times! Natures fireworks! It was truly beautiful!.”

Get Back With Ex, 7/14/2014

“My ex reclaimed me again on 7-11-14. Took me out to a fancy ills loan restaurant on Pearl Street in boulder and asked me to be exclusive with him again!

We were together 2 1/2 years then he broke up with me. His son was being influenced by his ex to hate me. We (the kids and I). had always gotten along fine until the ex began pressuring the kids. I had been invited to North Carolina for his family trip to celebrate his parents 50th wedding anniversary. The ex freaked out when she found out I was going and began to work from every angle to sabotage it. She has a personality disorder called BPD. She was unfortunately very successful and we split up prior to the trip.

We had been apart for two months. However after three weeks of being split he began contacting me every day. Randomly showing up out of the blue and calling daily. He told me how much he loved me but didn’t reclaim me. I let myself grieve for three days after our split. Then I began to focus on me. I meditated. I worked out. I spent time with family and friends and above all I never once contacted my ex.

Every time I heard from him I was super sweet and allowed myself to connect with him. I was light and fun and playful energy. I began flirting with him and complementing him. I only mirrored his behavior though. I feel that was very important. I didn’t question him about anything. I didn’t ask him about his single life at all. I wanted him to wonder what I was up to rather than me to be consumed by thoughts of what he was doing. It totally worked!

He asked me on a date. He brought me flowers and took me to dinner in another town. At dinner he began to speak to me very seriously. He said he wants me to be his girlfriend exclusively and he never plans on breaking up with me again. He told me he didn’t know how important I was in his life until I wasn’t there anymore. He said he never wants to feel that way ever again. He missed me and his life is better with me in it. He said even when things get difficult that breaking up with me is no longer the option. We will work thru things together.

He told me he wants to marry me a year or two down the road. We both cried and hugged. I heard someone in the restaurant say did they just get engaged? Lol! Although that hasn’t happened yet I am not worried or focused on marriage. I am focused on creating a solid connection between him and I that is strong enough to survive all of life’s challenges. That is what really matters after all. Marriage will naturally follow as Katarina Phang teaches and I believe it! She has changed my life! I am a soft easy going woman now who knows her own worth. I came to her broken and stuck in self destructive patterns. I am free now. Free to love and free to attract abundance in my life. It’s truly been an amazing experience!” ~Diana, Colorado

…..And Nearly Engaged!!!  Update 12/4/2014:

“OMG Katarina Phang. He just told me over Microsoft communicator that he has been window shopping for an engagement ring! I am crying happy tears right now. I can’t believe it! Kat he was the most EUM I have ever met and here I sit in tears just in shock at the mention of a ring. Wow! I am leaning back. No expectations but wow! This is so life changing Kat! Thank you. I actually love you and haven’t ever met you Kat!”

ENGAGED On Valentine’s I, 2/14/2015

“Hi Kat, I’m engaged. Four months since I’ve come to you! Photo says it all.

When I met my guy (just 5 months a go) he was so anti weddings, anti serious relationships, anti commitment. In fact, he told me a couple times that he was looking to have fun! But I fell hard and decided that come hell or high water I am pursuing this guy. I was way too forceful and made matters worse. I saw he was interested. But then I’d freak out and chase him away.

Then I found Kat. I sent her an email which probably would have taken hours to read. Obsessing over every detail of our conversations, his actions etc. She advised to me to just read the book. I decided to give it a chance. I started applying the book’s tips immediately. I must say, without even doing it to the T, it worked. And I almost thought someone was playing a joke on me. How accurately it worked, I’m still amazed.

Anyway, fast forward 5 months (and I know many will think it’s a bit too soon) and I have a ring. It happened on Valentine’s day. We were having a couple photoshoot for Valentine’s and he just got down on one knee. I will get photos from the photographer in a few days. We have discussed getting engaged but I didn’t think it would be so soon.

I’m still in shock. But it feels right. I don’t feel strange. All I am is happy. I do almost feel like it’s added pressure on me to keep things balanced and good, the way they have been. But I know if I overthink it, it will do nothing but damage. On the positive side… I am so happy. I never thought this wild one could be tamed. And I am so happy to say, he has such a soft heart. Not the guy I thought he was at all.” ~Sasha, South Africa

Get Back With Ex And ENGAGED On Valentine’s III, 2/14/2015

“I got engaged!! Yay, I can’t stop being supper excited… I have learned so much from you ladies on here and still have room to grow! I am very excited it happened… After 5 years of wishy washy proposals and signals from him, I finally feel content!

On Valentine’s Day I had his present, a few small things in a gist bag… and he says, I thought you said no Valentine’s Day gifts… I immediately felt sad like did he really not get me anything! I can get super scared about spending a lot of money, I did say don’t spend money I would rather have a house of our own, because we are past due… 5 year relationship here… So, I was coming to terms with not receiving a gift… hours go by… then I come around the corner and a bag was on the bed…. I screamed!!! Of excitement!!! he laughs and says you haven’t even opened it yet… I still get chills… he didn’t even put it on I did, now that I look back he probably though I was crazy, lol. I eventually calmed down and said YES.

After a year we started to have problems with control. I wanted control he wanted control… we started to get off and on more… I became a full time student and he thought that meant I had it easy and he left the whole relationship up to me to maintain. That only worked for like a week then I ended things. Here is where we got dysfunctional! Bad bad habits started to form from the both of us. I struggled with leaving the relationship alone completely… we were that couple was passionately in love and fueling fire. I have had a best friend Dasha for almost 8 years now and I would turn to her for support/feedback/sounding board… She would give me advice from what she learned from Kat and what worked well for her. In August 2014, I started to learn how to lean back and gather my thoughts and control my self instead of controlling the relationship.” ~Valerie, Colorado

Get Back With Ex, 1/17/2015

“Just wanna post a follow-up on my date last night with my ex:

Actually he is not my ex anymore. Katarina Phang, you are truly an angel sent from heaven to the ladies who need help like me. We had a heart to heart talk and the night went well. Magically amazing! Two weeks before, 45 days after we broke up, he opened a convo on me. Then he was consistent on texting me, sending me messages morning and night. Even when he went back to his home in UK for the holidays.

I was mirroring him all the time while I still have my rotations too. Last week Sat night was our first meeting since we broke up. It was a bit of an awkward situation. We didn’t talk much. I went home with a lot of questions. He went quite for four days. I still leaned back and didn’t ask him or send any messages.

Yesterday, I broke the silence by asking him over a souvenir from our Sri Lanka holiday, which I have left in his house. I needed the souvenir for I am sending a package back home. I was willing to let him go already and decided to moved on. He continued the convo by sending a pic of what he was doing then ended up with asking me out which I said yes but without expectations, I just wanna have fun.

We talked and danced from 9pm till 2am. He opened the conversation how he felt for me. He said he was done evaluating his feelings and realized how much he loves and adores me and even if I don’t want him back he will still love me forever. He was sorry for being an asshole. He even asked me a ” what if I ask you to marry me” question. Which I answered with, “Don’t give me with a what if question because that type of question should be asked only if you are truly 100% sure. You have to build trust, friendship, love and commitment before you can decide. Then I will give you my answer.”

He said, “fair enough”. He stepped up and claimed me last night. He was so attentive and sweet. More than what he really used to be. We ended up into his flat but we just ate and went to bed hugging each other tight without sex. Morning came, he woke me up with kisses and a breakfast in bed. We already have plans till next weekend. And he even gave me all the details and schedule of his activities for the week. 30 mins after he dropped me home then texted me with a msg of missing me already and asking my plan for the day. I know that relationship will not be always full of roses and it takes hard-work to make it work. I will constantly apply what I have learned from you Kat and the wonderful ladies in this group.

Kat, I know I said it before but I wanna say it over and over again, how much I am thankful to find you and letting me join the group. Thank you , thank you, thank you!

All the patience and leaning back was worthy enough having him back. You don’t have any idea how happy I am. TBH i am still floating with happiness until now. To all the ladies in this group, thank you for the great advices you shared. I may not participate all the time at the convo but I love reading all of them. Different thoughts and perspective, I respect them all.” ~Miriam, The Phillipines

Get Back With Ex, 1/23/2015

“Hey ladies. Good news my Romeo and I are back together. He invited me for lunch today. We talked and he told me he had to be tough in me for me to stop my nagging and appreciate him. He says he missed me as well. He also told me he is in the phase were he do busy and hopes I understand and be patient with him. Wants me to be his support. Thank you all for your support I thought I lost him but he just wanted me to get it together. When we met, he gave me a big hug and right away said babe..lol anyways its a relief. He will be traveling on the first for 2 weeks. This Sunday would have made it a month since we broke up. I’m glad.

I found Kat about 3 days after we broke up. He days I’m growing up. .lol thank you Kat.

You’re the best Katarina.” ~Bonnie, Texas

Get Back With Ex, 2/4/2015

“We all already know this but Katarina Phang your teachings yet again prove their value. A year ago I was at rock bottom with my ex EUM. He had cut off all contact and gone back to his ex. Now just this evening he gave me a key to his apartment and said he trusted me which is major for him. He hasn’t officially claimed me but who really needs a title. No expectations has been the key. The less I expect the more I get. Amazing how simple that is but how difficult it can be to execute. Thank you Katarina and thank you ladies-your wisdom helps me daily.”  ~Yolanda, Long Beach-California

ENGAGED 10/4/2014…MARRIED 12/13/2014!!!

NO MORE EUMs! Found the person who is completely into me and wants to be with me because I became emotionally available! I was with and EUM in the past because I was an EUW. I complained and complained, but it did not get any results and I was at fault. When I had the strength to start to date others that is when I met my now fiance.

Last week, I told my EUM that I am getting engaged to be married and that I will not be seeing him anymore. He thought I was telling him this so he can step up. I think he is still in shock. Not my problem anymore, he was given a million chances and someone else came along who knew my worth and valued me. For a long time, I thought I was in love with both guys at the same time and it was so confusing. Then, I saw my fiance battle for me. He had to battle his family and mine to have me. He was wiling to go to extreme measures to have me by his side.

At first, his constant attention was annoying, then I realized that this is how it is supposed to be. Not the absentee partnership I was used to. I was too independent and did not need a mad by my side.When a man wants a women, he is willing to fight for her. That alone made me value him more. I was chasing and yes ladies, I was chasing my EUM. At first I was initiating our dates and sometimes that made me very frustrated because everything was on his terms. Then, I joined this group and started to learn about my own frustration. So, to lean back, I would let him go and then we would come back stronger. We built a a very good caring friendship, but I knew down deep he was not into me as much I was in him. At one point and I think it was around June, I got fed up with the roller coaster and his Peter Pan antics.

Then I stopped initiating and leaned back really back and considered dating others. I old him that I was going to see other people and I was not satisfied with our current relationship. He asked me for more time and came back at first with initiating our dates, calling me every day and wanting to talk and so on. Then he fell back to his absent routine that is when I decided to date others for sure and that is when I met Adam.

I resisted Adam so much at first. The attraction was there from the start, but we both wanted different things from a long term relationship and it was discussed on the first coffee date. He wanted more children and I could not and would not have any more even if I can. So I wished him good luck and did not contact him. Two weeks later, he called me and asked me out and I gracefully declined. He did not give up. He convinced me to see him again. I told myself, just go out there and have fun.

At that time, I was still spending time with my EUM and helping him with his career. I refused to see Adam as much as he wanted to see me , but the more I refused the more he wanted me and pursued.

On my birthday, I got a happy birthday text from my EUM and a little crystal figurine two weeks later that he was given by someone else. He re-gifted me the gift. LOL LOL

Adam showed up at my house the day of my birthday with a beautiful gift and before he went to work. Later that evening insisted on taking me out on a romantic evening. From that point on, I started investing more time with Adam and the relationship was getting better. Not that much frustration and no pull and push tug games I had with the EUM. It was actually easy.

There was one time, we got really into it and later we resolve it. He helped me realize my self worth and I was able to help him get closer to his children from his first marriage. He also realized, he really does not want more children, but was missing his children because they lived in a different state.

So, last week he asked me to marry him again for the 5th time and went to my dad again and asked for his blessing. I said yes! Somewhere in between August and now, I have realized, I love this man and truly I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He is proud to be with me, it is like he wants to shout to the world that I am with him. He brags about it to anyone that listens. He says Great! George Clooney has nothing on him because he is truly marrying up.

I look back and think, what was wrong with me to to be with a man that wanted a part time partner vs. a man who wanted a full time partner? There was nothing wrong with me. I was just not emotionally available to be with anyone full time and I always want to fix broken things that is why I was attracted to the EUM. EUM/ Peter Pan is still working on himself and his career. Adam is established in his career, knows what he wants, and is very loving. So Katarina was right about EUW will attract EUM, at least in my case it was so true.

Katarina Phang, no one will outshine you and you are loved believe me. You have brought more out of me than all of the other books and relationships counselors’ materials ever did.  Thank you, even though I probably fought against your teachings most, I am now a true convert to your teachings.

Your teachings and philosophy is not just on how to deal with guys, they are extended to how to deal with life. I am not fearful of fear nor am I scared to face the the unknown anymore. In fact, I am welcoming the change and looking forward to the future and not looking back.

I am stronger because of your teachings.

Again, thank you for everything and I am so sorry I gave you a hard time on some of your teachings. I had to adapt and modify to fit my life style because of the cultural issues. Hey, they still worked. :)” ~Linda, Illinois

ENGAGED as shared on Christmas, 12/25/2014

“So it’s been a year since I found Katarina and joined the group. I joined hoping to save my relationship after my ex cheated.

Then luck had it I met my current boyfriend on OKCupid.  He was leading each stage of the relationship.  He was always a bit ahead of me.  He would text, call, organize dates. He asked me to be his girlfriend, meet his parents and move in with him…all without me even asking or thinking that!

We went on a holiday to Galapagos Island and when we were watching the sunset he proposed! 

A year ago I wouldn’t believe I would be in this situation now. I feel so lucky and am grateful for the journey and personal growth. I have and continue to learn more from this forum and I’m grateful for people’s comments during a moment of insecurity, doubt, overthinking that kept me grounded and feminine! Xx” ~Petra, Namibia

ENGAGED as shared on 11/8/2014

“We are engaged!  It was absolutely amazing- we’re vacationing in Jamaica right now and before we left, everyone at work and friends were all pretty much betting that he would do it on our holiday. I dunno, it was just a feeling! He just kept telling me “I love you sooooo much” and would kiss me so tenderly, it just felt like he was ready – and then he would be quite distracted by messages etc. There were a few other clues which were quite obvious in hindsight but I just wrote them off in my head so I could drop my expectations as well ;).But when it didn’t happen the first couple of days, I just wrote off the idea and stopped thinking about it. Turns out he had the ring and had planned to do it on the trip, but didn’t really know when or how he was going to do it – hence the delay.

So the night before, our resort was lit by moonlight and I was commenting on how magical it was… We were walking around the moonlight filled beach and he thought it was the perfect time to do it – but he didn’t have the ring on him (back at the villa) so he couldn’t do it. Anyways the next day after lunch, we walked back to the villa, and he just sat on the lounge chair on the deck, and pulled me towards him and held me. He asked me the question, but because I didn’t think it was going to happen, I thought I mis-heard – so I said, “what?” He repeated the question again and I said, “really?”  He nodded and pulled out the ring.

Turns out he’d been thinking about it for two months – he had asked my dad for permission when they were over 2 months ago. After he asked, he spent the next two months researching rings, speaking to friends and dealers, sourcing the stone from Geneva, then taking it for setting etc. He put in so much work and he’s SO proud of it – keeps asking to look at it on my hand etc. Absolutely adorable <3″ ~Chelsea, London

 

Get Back With Ex, 11/4/2014!!!

“Katarina Phang, you are a relationship genius! I am eternally grateful! It’s been two months since I found you and your book and began applying and studying your teaching. The best money I have ever spent! The more I have leaned back, the more my ex EUM continues to step up! I am amazed! I have totally focused on myself and my life and he continues to pursue me! He lives out of town, but he visits as much as he can. He recently came into town to take my son to a professional football game that was an additional 3 hours away.

He calls and texts multiple times a day. I NEVER initiate calls to him and I initiate texts to him twice a week, before his football games to wish him good luck (he is a high school football coach)! All other contact is initiated by him, not because of anything I have said, he just does it!!

Tonight, while on the phone, he said that he “absolutely adores me!” He said he is so happy that I gave him a second chance because I am the best thing that ever happened to him, and he was an idiot not see it sooner! He shared that being with me is different than anything he ever experienced! He says I motivate him to be a better man and a better person because I am so passionate about the things that I do! He said he is ready to push all his chips in with me. He shared that he was going to tell me this when came to see me next week but could not keep it to himself that long.

My jaw was on the ground because I had let go of any expectations when I found Kat!! This from the man who was confused about his feelings for me earlier in year! Things were great in the beginning. He was a great guy to both myself and my son. I got really attached to him and I was leaning forward too much. I started asking him about a future together, and was constantly seeking reassurance about where the relationship was going. I feel disgusted just thinking about it now. He accepted a job out of town mid relationship and I clung on even more, he continued to pull away and I continued to lean forward to try to bring him back. He eventually told me that he was confused about his feelings and needed space. We were broken up for 6 months.

Ladies, Kat knows what she is doing, read the book, do the inner work. This is amazing! I would have messed it up with out her! I did the work for me, not to get him back, but I ended winning in the end! Screaming Thank-you Kat, you are the Best!” ~Nadya, South Carolina